It's hard to believe that someone we care about would choose to stay in a verbally abusive relationship when we're positive that we ourselves would be long gone. But understanding what drives them can give us better tools to be helpful.
childhood
—because this is really where it starts for most targets of verbal abuse. They grow up in households where verbal abuse was their regular day-to-day experience. Children form mental models of how the world works from early experiences, and if verbal abuse is consistent, they think it goes on everywhere. As young adults, they’re likely to gravitate toward people who treat them in similar ways because they think the behavior is “normal.
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