Someone should start a gofundme to send these people some aloe vera.
"The sickest burns are usually well deserved. I was moving a couch with my wife and I didn’t feel she was lifting it high enough, so I told her, 'I should’ve married a man.' She replied, 'Me too.'”"I was hooking up with a friend on the sly, but he wasn’t treating me well. One day we were playing a 'never have I ever' game with our group when the question was if anyone had ever made a sex tape.
The next day, the substitute teacher was taking attendance and read his name. We all explained why he wasn’t there, and the sub goes, 'Ah, so then he won’t be ‘jointing’ us today?'”"I was carrying my 2-year-old son to the car when we passed this little souped up Honda with a teenager proudly leaning on it. My son pointed to the car and yelled, 'It’s a baby car!' The teenager didn't look too happy to be burned by a toddler.
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