College fuck-ups are the best kind.
"On the first day of college I was heading back to my dorm and somehow I managed to open the door right into my head — great start to the year.""I texted my friend that I was hungry in class. About a half hour in, I hear the door open and my friend comes in with a bag of teriyaki beef jerky, a bag of gummy bears, and an iced tea. She just looks at my professor and says, 'Hey, I’m just dropping these off for Ashley.' She leaves them on my desk and leaves.
I sat in the front of that class and my professor was just staring at me kinda smiling before she said, 'If you’re hungry, go ahead and eat,' but it was so awkward, I told her I wasn’t hungry. So then she had to deal with my stomach constantly growling loudly till the end of the class.""After the first party of the school year my freshman year, where I got way too drunk, my orientation leader walked me home, and I puked all over him. I never lived it down.
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